How to Deal with Feeling Overwhelmed

If I really want to improve my situation, I can work on the one thing over which I have control – myself.

- Stephen Covey

The Cure For Overwhelm

We all encounter moments in our life when we become overwhelmed.

“That person simply hates me; they will never change.”

“Nobody likes me, and I have no friends.”

“I am not satisfied with my life – nothing is right.”

“I keep failing God.”

These situations leave you worried, ineffective, and feeling stuck. This leads us to resign ourselves to a life where your circumstances take the lead. Forget a creek, you feel as if you are being carried down a roaring river without a paddle. However, in every situation there is something that you can do! It all starts with a mindset shift. With this change of mind, you do not have to sit around waiting for life to toss you into the next obstacle. You do not have to sit around consumed with anxious thoughts about the inevitable negative end or tortuous continuation of your situation.

Sound good? Here is the mindset.

I will focus on the areas I have control and trust God with the rest.

What Can You Control?

Throughout the Bible we can see an obvious truth, “God is in absolute control.” He is sovereign and omnipotent.

Do you have a good job? Did you earn it through hard work and perseverance?

Well scripture says, “But you shall remember the LORD your God, for it is He who is giving you power to make wealth…” – Deuteronomy 8:18.

Do you have a home, a car, or food on the table?

“Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.” – James 1:17.

Do you not believe in God and have all of these good things? Are you excluded?

“He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” – Matthew 5:45.

At the same time, in light of God’s proclaimed control, we still see the early church evangelizing, we see David step out to fight Goliath, the Israelites under Joshua’s control still had to confront Jericho or fight for the Gibeonites, and Gideon had to destroy altars, build an army, and destroy the Midianites. Mankind is still responsible for responding to the message of the gospel.

How God exercises His control is a divine mystery and yet true. While this is true, God gives us the opportunity to do something in every situation we find ourselves in (and strengthens us to do good).

So, what can you do when your situation seems so overwhelming? How can you be proactive and effective instead of reactive and stuck? Answering these questions requires evaluation by answering 3 specific questions.

What do I have no control over?

What can I control?

What does God desire for me to do?

Let’s look at an example:

I have an individual at school who hates me and goes out of their way to put me down.

No control:

How this person responds to you.

How this person views you.

How this person lives their life.

Where this person goes to school or sees you.

Things you can control:

How you respond to this persons behavior.

You can choose to love this person despite their behavior.

You can choose who you hang around with in other events.

You can choose to continue to improve yourself despite their negative opinion of you.

You can pray.

Where to find Certainty

This approach keeps your mind from dwelling on the negative aspects of your situation and shows you that you have multiple things you can control!

What makes this approach even better is if you commit to focusing and acting on the things you can control, oftentimes, your ability to influence the things in which you have no control increases.

Going back to the example above, if you embrace that you can only control how you respond to this person’s treatment of you and that God would have you love your enemies instead of returning evil for evil, you will be prepared to do so. This planned reaction may be what changes this person’s view and treatment of you.

Considering the counsel of God during your evaluation of the situation is crucial because His way is nearly always different from our own desires and the “wisdom” we glean from the world, and while considering God’s way simply because He is our Lord is great and good, ironically, considering God’s desires and wisdom also comes with better results in our situation.

If you retaliate to someone attacking you by attacking them back, you will only drive a further wedge between yourself and them – they may even take harsher steps to hurt you. However, if you return their attacks with kindness there is a greater chance that your actions will result in peace.

Application

I will focus on the areas I have control and trust God with the rest.

Here are step by step instructions to allow you to apply this today:

What current situation has you feeling overwhelmed? Write it down on paper.

Draw a large circle underneath with a smaller circle within it.

Label the larger circle, Circle of Concern, and the smaller circle, Circle of Control.

In the Circle of Concern, write all of the things you cannot control.

For the Circle of Control, ask these 2 questions, and write down the answers in the smaller circle:

What does God desire from me to do in this situation?
What can I control?

Write arrows from within the smaller circle out to the larger circle to remind you that your actions have the potential to increase your level of influence on the things you cannot control.

Pray to God for His action in your current situation and for wisdom to act on the things you can control. Ask Him to release you from the worry over the things you can’t control.

Conclusion

Life can be overwhelming. Life can seem to always take the reins and toss you wherever it pleases.

But not anymore!

Arm yourself with this mindset.

Commit to be an individual who refuses to have their wellbeing and behavior dictated by circumstance or how others treat you.

You have areas of control that have been granted to you by God!

In closing, I want to leave you with a prayer that I believe carries a lot of wisdom, The Serenity Prayer (attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr), perhaps this can be your prayer today:

God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

About the Author

Joshua is a current resident of Oklahoma, an Oklahoma Baptist University graduate, a husband, a father, and most importantly a follower of Christ who is interested in passing on what he has learned through consistent reading and hearing of the Scriptures and prayer.

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